Stress | Team Denise!

Tag: Stress

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009

The Truth Is… Deal With It.

Sometimes, for a moment, I forget the battle I am fighting,
so its only natural that friends, people I associate with, would tend to forget…
That’s the truth…

People tend to forget I am stage 3b breast cancer.
The truth is… I Am stage 3b metastatic breast cancer,
Truth is… this means the cancer has spread.

I really try to keep a positive attitude and keep a “good face”
but… The truth is… I’m fighting for my life
The truth is… I am scared to death
The truth is… I am alone and I do get crabby.

Scared crabby

Crabby in that “I’m scared and don’t know what to do or who to turn to that can help me and I’m seeing my life possibly slip away before I’m ready” kinda way

The truth is… it’s not always pretty.

And thruth is.. some people can’t handle it.

Seem to think I don’t have an excuse to “loose it” every now and then.

Truth is… my survival is NOT guaranteed, it’s still Very iffy and that is a daily thought for me. Every.Day. I’d had good response to the treatment, but last blood work results were not so good..
The truth is… this will be a long fight

The stress from my health situation is Huge – physically, emotionally, spiritually. When dealing with any illness, stress is a huge negative factor.
I have realized that holding on to things that are causing stress is not in my best interest
So I am attempting to let go
clear out
remove
Things, situations, people
that are causing stress
in my life
so that I can
Deal with the truth.

That’s the truth.

Tags: Stress, Truth

Posted in Coping, Emotions, frustration, sadness, tired, venting | 2 Comments »

Saturday, September 12th, 2009

HER2 is Ticking

I’ve been somewhat concerned (to be putting it mildly) about the increase in my HER2 levels.

I talked with an oncology nurse who advised me, with the decreases in all my other numbers, to not stress the HER2 increase at this time.

I talked with Dr. Khan (Burzynski Clinic) who advised me, with the decreases in all my other numbers, to not stress the HER2 increase at this time.

At this time…

At.This.Time.

Time just keeps ticking…

Tags: HER2, Stress

Posted in Cancer, Coping, Dr. A. Khan, Emotions, frustration, scared, Undetermined Changes, venting | No Comments »

Friday, September 11th, 2009

Loosing My Mind

I’ve been able to loose a couple of the things weighing on my mind.
a couple of them
no longer on my mind…

* HER2 increase of 5.2
* Not enough money for September meds
* Burzynski $1,500 “Medication Management” fee
* Rejection by my PCP to handle Rx reorders
* Xeloda PAP Eligibility Denial

These are the things on my mind

No longer on my mind

Loosing my mind

Tags: Finances, Stress, Xeloda

Posted in Burzynski Clinic, Burzynski Clinic Financial Charges, Dr. R. Weaver, Financial Assistance, Gene Therapy Drugs, Information, Patient Assistance Programs (PAP) | 2 Comments »

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

Stress Me Out.

Stress Overload.

I have it

Every day.

The things currently on my mind…

* HER2 increase of 5.2

* Not enough money for September meds

* Burzynski $1,500 “Medication Management” fee

* Rejection by my PCP to handle Rx reorders

* Xeloda PAP Eligibility Denial

These are the things on my mind

Constantly on my mind

Every day.

Every day, my survival is on my mind.

Every.single.day.

Every morning, when I take those pills, I’m reminded…

Throughout the day, when I take those pills, I question…

Every night, when I take those pills, I wonder…

Every.Single.Time.

Constantly

Every.Single.Moment.

I feel as though I am hanging on by that one last last thread and have no where to turn, no one to turn to, no one to reach out to keep me from falling.

to keep me

from loosing it

totally.

Stress Overload.
I Definitely Have It.

Tags: Overload, Stress

Posted in Coping, frustration, Overload | No Comments »

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

Bending Over The Barrel

Since he helped before with my prescription of Zometa, I was presuming, assuming, hoping that my Primary Care Physician (PCP) would be amicable to handling the reorders (Rx refills) for the Tarceva, Zolinza, and Xeloda. This would eliminate the need to come up with the extra $1,500.00 that Burzynski Clinic is demanding in order to write my prescription refills. This would have taken a Huge stress off of me.

I had talked with the Drug Company PAP Reps and cleared with all to change the Doctor in charge of Rx reorders (refills) Dr from Burzynski to my PCP. All was good to go.

Guess I shoulda cleared with my PCP first and not ASS-U-M’ed, cuz I get the message that he is not good to go. He is not comfortable with writing Rx for cancer meds as he is an Internist and not an Oncologist.

So, I am back to dealing with the $1,500.00 “Medication Management” charge from Burzynski Clinic.

I am currently out of Xeloda, should have restarted today. But I have no reorder, no refill.

Unless I pay Burzynski Clinic the $1,500.00

They have me over a barrel.

Bending me.

Tags: Overload, Stress, Tarceva, Xeloda, Zolinza, Zometa

Posted in anger, Burzynski Clinic Financial Charges, Dr. R. Taylor, frustration, Gene Therapy Drugs, Overload, scared, Stress, tired, venting | 2 Comments »

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