Tag: heart

Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

Still Ill…

I’m still ill from chemo.  This has been the longest yet.  Almost 6 days.  Last Thursday til today (Tuesday).  How do people do this for months… years…?

My heart is still doing wonky things… skipping beats, extra beats, slowing down, racing.  I get surges of adrenaline, and have nothing to do with them except practice slow breathing to calm them down.

Still nauseous, still burping up noxious gas.  I’ve never been much of a Girly-girl, but this is just downright Gross.

My eyes are tearing, and I can still feel the toxicity in my tears… they burn my eyes.  The corners of my eyes are raw from the acrid liquid that my eyes are expelling.

I wish I had someone to hold me and tell me it was gonna be all right… someone I could believe.

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Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

Chemo Today

It’s 6:28am.
I should be in bed, still sleeping.

Chemo Today…
What a hard week it’s been, and now, chemo.
Again.

Since I don’t get paid if I don’t work, I scheduled my chemo treatments for Thursdays. Then I get my Neulasta shot on Friday – the Clinic is closed on weekends. So I only loose 2 days of work, 2 days of pay, 2 days of resources to keep me going.

I’m down for at least 2 days, in bed or dragging around like a limp rag, fight nausea and dizziness and headache and crazy heart reactions and general effects from being poisoned.  I hate it.  This Is So Barbaric.

This treatment is infusion #4 of Round 1 (aka Phase 1), supposedly the last infusions of the  Adriamycin and Cytoxan (aka A/C) combo.  If I decide to continue on this chemo path, in 2 more weeks I’ll move on to the “harder” infusion, the Taxol in Round 2.  I’ll need steroids for that Round… Steroids.

Oh, WHAT is being done to my body?  How did it Get To This??

My appointment today is for 10:30am, had my alarm set for 8:00am.  But the Pups woke me up barking about 6:00am… Good Pups, just doing their jobs.  It was the UPS, delivering my pre- and post-treatment meds of Emend, the anti-nausea meds.

I was supposed to get them yesterday, but the Doctor had not authorized refills for the remaining infusions, so we had to call in and get that approved.  WTH?

Yes, partly my fault, since I SHOULD have called in on last Friday, but with all this news, I just forgot..  I called them in on Tuesday, and talked with the ACT Rep, who said she would overnight them as soon as she got the info from the Dr.

So, I get them this morning.  A little after 6:00am.
Loosing precious sleep.

Once the chemo hits, I’ll be back in bed anyway…
Gaining poisoned sleep.

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