tired Category

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

Test Results – Tumor Markers #9

My PCP’s office called with my my lab results…

Last Friday (Jan 22 2010), I had the bloodwork drawn to track my tumor markers. It was draw #9. I’ve been having pretty good results to-date, some ups some downs, some increases, some decreases – all within acceptable margins…

However, I’ve had a lot of unexplained aches and pains, especially breast and bone pain, and been battling stress and depression which I was – am – sure effected my health. So I’ve been Very scared of these results…

Very Scared.

This blood draw was for the monthly tests (most specifically my CEA Tumor Markers).

* April 15, my baseline CEA tumor markers were 63.1 ng/mL (nanograms per milliliter). This is High, as Norm is 0.0-3.0 ng/mL.
I honestly don’t know how high “really high” is, but – in my internet searching – I read one gal talk about the mid-200’s, so I guess my high is not That high, but It’s High To me.
* June 03, my 2nd draw CEA tumor markers were 35.9 ng/mL
* July 03, my 3rd draw CEA tumor markers were 12.8 ng/mL
* August 27, my 4th draw CEA tumor markers were 3.9 ng/mL
* September 18, my 5th draw CEA tumor markers were 3.3 ng/mL
* October 16, my 6th CEA tumor markers were 3.2 ng/mL
* November 20, my 7th CEA tumor markers were 2.7 ng/mL
* December 18, my 8th CEA tumor markers are 2.8 ng/mL

* January 22, my 9th CEA tumor markers are 3.1 ng/mL
This is a .3 INCREASE from last month, and puts me just above the normal range…

Dr. Khan has reassured me that this small increase is nothing to be concerned about, so I will TRY not to worry… Yah, right.

As always, I’m unsure, but this (CEA: The Test) continues to answer Some of my questions…

My Other Numbers as of January 22 2010 blood test results:

* CA-125: 12 U/mL (Reference @ 0-35)
a 2 point DECREASE – down from 14 U/mL from December’s draw… I am well within normal range.

* CA 15-3: 16 U/mL (Reference @ <32)
a 4 point DECREASE – down from from 20 U/mL from December’s draw; I’m well within the normal range.

* CA 27.29 (see CA15-3 above): 27 U/mL (Reference @ <38)
a 4 point DECREASE – down from 31 U/mL from November’s draw. This decrease makes me very happy!

The CA 27.29 test is used to monitor your:

  • Response to treatment
  • Status of your cancer
  • Possibility of early recurrence

With all the aches and pains I’ve been having
With all the stress and depression I’ve been fighting
I’ve been Very Very worried…
But these results help ease my mind.

Taking a breath
Relaxing
Destressing
Its all good…
It Will Be Good.

Visualizing my Dragons
My Warrior Dragons
Burning

Never Stopping.

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Friday, January 22nd, 2010

Rescheduling – Zometa infusion 8

I’m very concerned about the current
changes in
my breast
and the
pain in
my breast
my chest
my joints
my muscles
my long bones
my headaches

I moved up my monthly blood draw and
Zometa infusion to today
Though when I went to the Center, I discovered that
I was supposed to be there last Friday…
Oops

Anyway
Hope to have the blood work back by Tuesday.

My next PET/CT scan is scheduled for
the end of February
but I left a message with Dr. DeLeon
that I want to move it to ASAP.

Hope to have that done by next
Wednesday, so we can get the
results by Friday.

Then we can see what is happening.

And make some
changes, decisions
if needed.

But for tonight
Christine called
so I am going to have dinner
with Her & Rob
then to their home
and play some games

I need the company.

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Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

A Precarious Situation…?

Got up early today and went to Curves,
I’m enjoying the exercise
but
I was supposed to have
items up for sale on eBay by now

I have not

I am very concerned about the
Changes in the lump in my breast
Scared
Petrified

It seems that it is becoming
swollen
a feeling of
fullness
each day
and the pain
jabs
are still there
a feeling of
a pulled muscle
in the breast

I’m sure that
the stresses from everything
are contributing factors

The depression from
Loss of my job
The depression from
Christmas and New Year
Being alone

The month of
Eating
Drinking
Doing
Things I should not have

Easy to say that
I need to
Take better care
of myself

Easy to say
unless it is
too late…?

A possibility…

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Sunday, January 17th, 2010

More Aches and Pains

All the aches and pains are scaring me

I have barely been able to function

I hope this is weather-related
all the cold
and the front that had barreled through

My breast is still hurting
and I think the lump has grown some
I’m not totally sure
but it seems that it might have.

And now I have a new pain in my breast area
a sharp pain
when I move in certain ways
not sure what is about

I’m scared
I just want to stay in bed
even though I know
it’s not the best thing to do.

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Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

Aches and Pains

A few days back
I wrote about how I was having
breast pain
and I still am

now
I also ache
my joints
my bones

my spine
my tailbone
my long bones

It hurts
to climb the stairs
to bend to sit
to extend to rise

It aches to move

I have a headache
that feels like an electric current
running through my brain

is this some weird recurrence of reaction
to one of the meds
excessive bone and joint pain
muscle aches

or
is this the drop
of the other shoe
it always drops
is this the drop?

I just want to stay in bed.

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Sunday, January 10th, 2010

Weather

It has been So Dang Cold here, I can barely function.

I went out this afternoon, and walking to and from the Explorer left me chilled deep.

The cold weather didn’t used to bother me so much, I actually used to enjoy it. But since the chemo, and this current treatment, I feel the cold just biting into my body.

Can’t wait til it warms up some…

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Sunday, January 10th, 2010

Calcium vs cancer

Seeing that there is a general belief that milk is not good for cancer, especially my type of cancer, I thought – what about calcium…?

So off I went to Google “calcium and cancer”.

Lots of info.
Of course.

Appears that many believe that calcium is quite good in the fight for cancer.
But not from milk.
There are plenty of veggies that are rich in calcium

There are those who state that the most important resource for calcium is coral calcium.

Others do not agree…

Be Wary of Coral Calcium and Robert Barefoot

There are also supplements claiming to be coral calcium, which are not, so “buyer beware”.

The National Cancer Institute, a government agency, does not support calcium therapy for cancer. The National Cancer Institute’s views on calcium are pretty much what we have heard for years – get it from milk and it does a body good.

Yes, there are those who “prey” on people like me – who are fighting this horrible battle. In this fight, any extra “bullet” MIGHT make a difference, so I have made the choice to add additional calcium to my supplement list.

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Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

PASSED: Shawn Felty (colon cancer)

When I heard of this loss today, I just cried and cried. I did not personally know Shawn Felty, but – despite his own battle with colon cancer – he went out of his way to donate to my fund, and to offer words of encouragement. I sent a “Thank You” as I truly was grateful, but I did not keep in touch with him. I have let my battle overshadow the fact that I should keep in touch with the people who have reached out to me.

It is no excuse, it is simply fact. It is difficult when you are struggling to do everything yourself, everything by yourself, and are so tired by the end of the day, so tired by the beginning of the day, so tired to add more to the list… I will strive to do better… somehow…

“On December 13, 2009 at 4:30 pm, Shawn Felty passed peacefully surrounded by family and close friends. He was loved by many, with nearly 100 teammates, fellow actors, colleagues, cancer survivors, cancer fighters, Colondar models and friends visiting him over the last few days. For two years he battled this disease with incredible strength and extraordinary grace and he was inspiration to all who knew him. The world lost an amazing man today, but he left behind a perfect example of perseverance, fortitude and friendship.”

Shawn’s Blog: All It Takes Is Guts – please read Shawn’s writings, he Truly was an Amazing person.

Shawn Felty, 1969 – 2010

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Saturday, January 2nd, 2010

The Mask

Once again,
I’m trying
to put on a
new face

a
mask

A smile
to
fool
myself

to
fool
the
world

this might
help
if I actually
got out of
my pajamas

but they are so comfy
and I am
so tired…

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Friday, January 1st, 2010

Welcome 2010…

So…
After declaring that is was
time to
stop
the whining

I went and
fell right back into a
pitiful state
.

Its Tough

Its a Tough situation
This situation
This cancer situation

Tough on
The Body
The Spirit
The Emotions

Its a Tough
time of year
This time of year
Tough
on the emotions
Tough
on the heart

Its been a Tough year
This past year 2009
I have
Lost
A Love
My Health
A Job
a Tough year

I’m not so tough
not so
Tough to be able
to carry this burden
without
cracking
at sometime
or another.

All I can do is
pick myself back up
dust myself off
put on a smile
keep on going

Tough it out.

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