Emotions Category
Sunday, January 17th, 2010
Talked with my Mom today
and she brought me up to date on
my Dad’s current health situation.
They are going to the Dr on Jan 22
to discuss an angiogram
which will diagnose exactly
how much blockage there is in his
carotid artery
and then whether he will pursue carotid angioplasty or stenting
There IS a Possibility that the Doppler sonogram test that showed this extensive blockage gave a bad read, but with the dizziness that he has been experiencing, that is probably not the case. HOWEVER, the Doppler that he had 6 months ago didn’t show any issues, so Something is wrong…
Regarding his second rotator cuff surgery recovery – that seems to be doing well. He was a bit “gun shy” in doing his PT exercises since the first time (surgery) he re-injured the shoulder and required this second surgery. But Mom and the orthopedic Dr had a talk with him, so he has stepped up to the required PT now.
Praying for good news somewhere…
Tags: angiogram, carotid angioplasty, carotid artery stenosis, clogged carotid artery, dad's health, stenting
Posted in Dad, Family, frustration, Mom, scared, Special People, Totally Non-cancer Related | No Comments »
Saturday, January 16th, 2010
Times are tough all over
People loosing jobs
I lost my job.
My Friend, Kristen, has lost her job
her “day” job
and will be temporarily moving to another state
to pursue an opportunity.
I wanted to get with her to wish her luck before she left,
so I went to her “other” job to see her.
She owns a Curves studio in my neighborhood
I used to be a member, “before”.
Mr. Sack gave me the membership
for my birthday 2008
plus flowers
when he was still being a
nice guy
and cared.
Kristen has been busy and is not a computer person
does not read my blog often
so did not know of my need to start exercising again
or the search for a Rebounder.
She was unaware of my need to start exercising
but I cannot afford to pay for a membership.
Kristen has gifted me a month membership to her Curves location
with the stipulation that I get my eBay up and running.
A gift AND incentive!
Thank You, Kristen!
Tags: Cliff Grimes, Clifford F Grimes, Clifford Grimes, Curves, Dallas, exercise
Posted in appreciation, Coping, Emotions, Friends, Friendship, gratitude, Special People | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, January 13th, 2010
A few days back
I wrote about how I was having
breast pain
and I still am
now
I also ache
my joints
my bones
my spine
my tailbone
my long bones
It hurts
to climb the stairs
to bend to sit
to extend to rise
It aches to move
I have a headache
that feels like an electric current
running through my brain
is this some weird recurrence of reaction
to one of the meds
excessive bone and joint pain
muscle aches
or
is this the drop
of the other shoe
it always drops
is this the drop?
I just want to stay in bed.
Tags: aches and pain, breast pain
Posted in Cancer, scared, Stress, tired, Undetermined Changes | 2 Comments »
Sunday, January 10th, 2010
It has been So Dang Cold here, I can barely function.
I went out this afternoon, and walking to and from the Explorer left me chilled deep.
The cold weather didn’t used to bother me so much, I actually used to enjoy it. But since the chemo, and this current treatment, I feel the cold just biting into my body.
Can’t wait til it warms up some…
Tags: cold, weather
Posted in Chemo Reactions, Coping, Gene Therapy Drug Reactions, tired | No Comments »
Sunday, January 10th, 2010
Seeing that there is a general belief that milk is not good for cancer, especially my type of cancer, I thought – what about calcium…?
So off I went to Google “calcium and cancer”.
Lots of info.
Of course.
Appears that many believe that calcium is quite good in the fight for cancer.
But not from milk.
There are plenty of veggies that are rich in calcium…
There are those who state that the most important resource for calcium is coral calcium.
Others do not agree…
Be Wary of Coral Calcium and Robert Barefoot
There are also supplements claiming to be coral calcium, which are not, so “buyer beware”.
The National Cancer Institute, a government agency, does not support calcium therapy for cancer. The National Cancer Institute’s views on calcium are pretty much what we have heard for years – get it from milk and it does a body good.
Yes, there are those who “prey” on people like me – who are fighting this horrible battle. In this fight, any extra “bullet” MIGHT make a difference, so I have made the choice to add additional calcium to my supplement list.
Tags: calcium, coral calcium, scams, supplements
Posted in Alternative Treatments, Cancer, Coping, tired, Unconventional Treatments, Vitamins and Supplements | No Comments »
Thursday, January 7th, 2010
My Dad has been having some dizziness when standing, went to the Dr and has been diagnosed with Carotid Artery Stenosis – clogged carotid artery. It’s pretty bad – between 60% – 70% blockage.
“Carotid artery stenosis is the narrowing of the carotid arteries. These are the main arteries in the neck that supply blood to the brain. Carotid artery stenosis, also called carotid artery disease, is a major risk factor for ischemic stroke. (This is the most common form of stroke and is usually caused by a blood clot plugging an artery.)
The narrowing is usually caused by plaque in a blood vessel. Plaque forms when cholesterol, fat and other substances build up in the inner lining of an artery. This process is called atherosclerosis.”
Dad and Mom are now discussing the options of endarterectomy versus stenting.
Mom is being pulled in many directions – Dad’s sudden health issues, her Father’s death and his financial issues…
and me and my issues.
She’s not gonna be able to do everything.
Dad is a priority
the financial issues need to be resolved
and I am 4 hours away from those matters.
Its not fair, but thats how it is.
Tags: atherosclerosis, carotid artery stenosis, clogged carotid artery, dad's health, endarterectomy, stent
Posted in Dad, Emotions, Family, frustration, Mom, scared, Special People, Totally Non-cancer Related | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, January 6th, 2010
When I heard of this loss today, I just cried and cried. I did not personally know Shawn Felty, but – despite his own battle with colon cancer – he went out of his way to donate to my fund, and to offer words of encouragement. I sent a “Thank You” as I truly was grateful, but I did not keep in touch with him. I have let my battle overshadow the fact that I should keep in touch with the people who have reached out to me.
It is no excuse, it is simply fact. It is difficult when you are struggling to do everything yourself, everything by yourself, and are so tired by the end of the day, so tired by the beginning of the day, so tired to add more to the list… I will strive to do better… somehow…
“On December 13, 2009 at 4:30 pm, Shawn Felty passed peacefully surrounded by family and close friends. He was loved by many, with nearly 100 teammates, fellow actors, colleagues, cancer survivors, cancer fighters, Colondar models and friends visiting him over the last few days. For two years he battled this disease with incredible strength and extraordinary grace and he was inspiration to all who knew him. The world lost an amazing man today, but he left behind a perfect example of perseverance, fortitude and friendship.”
Shawn’s Blog: All It Takes Is Guts – please read Shawn’s writings, he Truly was an Amazing person.
Shawn Felty, 1969 – 2010
Tags: Shawn Felty
Posted in anger, Cancer, Fallen Warriors, frustration, sadness, scared, tired | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, January 5th, 2010
i feel like i am
Falling
Back into
A pattern of
Normalcy
Which
Concerns me
Because i
Need to be
Alert
Vigilant
No time for
Lackadaisical
Meandering
No time for
Forgetting
That I am
Fighting.
This is
Serious
My
Life.
Tags: Poetry
Posted in Cancer, frustration, scared, venting | No Comments »
Saturday, January 2nd, 2010
Once again,
I’m trying
to put on a
new face
a
mask
A smile
to
fool
myself
to
fool
the
world
this might
help
if I actually
got out of
my pajamas
but they are so comfy
and I am
so tired…
Tags: New Year, New Year 2010
Posted in Coping, depression, Emotions, frustration, loneliness, sadness, tired | No Comments »
Friday, January 1st, 2010
So…
After declaring that is was
time to
stop
the whining
I went and
fell right back into a
pitiful state.
Its Tough
Its a Tough situation
This situation
This cancer situation
Tough on
The Body
The Spirit
The Emotions
Its a Tough
time of year
This time of year
Tough
on the emotions
Tough
on the heart
Its been a Tough year
This past year 2009
I have
Lost
A Love
My Health
A Job
a Tough year
I’m not so tough
not so
Tough to be able
to carry this burden
without
cracking
at sometime
or another.
All I can do is
pick myself back up
dust myself off
put on a smile
keep on going
Tough it out.
Tags: Christmas 2009, New Year 2010
Posted in depression, Emotions, sadness, tired, venting | 3 Comments »
