anger Category
Tuesday, January 26th, 2010
Pernell Roberts Jr, who played the introspective eldest son of wealthy rancher Ben Cartwright on the hit TV western “Bonanza” and went on to star in medical drama “Trapper John, M.D.,” has died. He was 81.
Roberts was known for his activism, which included participation in the Selma to Montgomery marches in 1965 with Martin Luther King Jr in a campaign for voting rights for blacks; and pressuring NBC to refrain from hiring whites to portray minority characters.
Articles:
‘Bonanza’ Star Pernell Roberts Dies at 81
Pernell Roberts, last star of TV’s ‘Bonanza,’ dies
Wikipedia, Pernell Roberts
Pernell Roberts, 1928 – 2010
Tags: Pernell Roberts Jr
Posted in anger, Cancer, Fallen Warriors, sadness | No Comments »
Sunday, January 24th, 2010
Robert Mosbacher Sr., a Houston oil multimillionaire who served as U.S. Commerce secretary under his close friend, President George H.W. Bush, has died at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center. He was 82.
Mosbacher died after a yearlong battle with pancreatic cancer.
Articles:
ABC 13 Local Houston
Wikipedia
NY Times
Robert Mosbacher , 1927 – 2010
Tags: Robert Mosbacher Sr.
Posted in anger, Cancer, depression, Emotions, Fallen Warriors, frustration, sadness, scared | No Comments »
Wednesday, January 6th, 2010
When I heard of this loss today, I just cried and cried. I did not personally know Shawn Felty, but – despite his own battle with colon cancer – he went out of his way to donate to my fund, and to offer words of encouragement. I sent a “Thank You” as I truly was grateful, but I did not keep in touch with him. I have let my battle overshadow the fact that I should keep in touch with the people who have reached out to me.
It is no excuse, it is simply fact. It is difficult when you are struggling to do everything yourself, everything by yourself, and are so tired by the end of the day, so tired by the beginning of the day, so tired to add more to the list… I will strive to do better… somehow…
“On December 13, 2009 at 4:30 pm, Shawn Felty passed peacefully surrounded by family and close friends. He was loved by many, with nearly 100 teammates, fellow actors, colleagues, cancer survivors, cancer fighters, Colondar models and friends visiting him over the last few days. For two years he battled this disease with incredible strength and extraordinary grace and he was inspiration to all who knew him. The world lost an amazing man today, but he left behind a perfect example of perseverance, fortitude and friendship.”
Shawn’s Blog: All It Takes Is Guts – please read Shawn’s writings, he Truly was an Amazing person.
Shawn Felty, 1969 – 2010
Tags: Shawn Felty
Posted in anger, Cancer, Fallen Warriors, frustration, sadness, scared, tired | 2 Comments »
Monday, December 21st, 2009
I can see that this Christmas will be one of the worse of my life.
It should have been one of the best.
But it will not.
I should be with people I love
who love me
But will not.
I should be happy and joyous.
But am not.
Posted in anger, Coping, Dad, depression, Emotions, Family, frustration, loneliness, Mom, overwhelming, rejection, sadness, Stress, tired | No Comments »
Saturday, December 19th, 2009
About 2am I started feeling crummy – most probably from the infusion yesterday. Took some Tylenol and went back to sleep. I’ve been feeling crummy all day. Just hanging out at home.
I’ve been trying to find someone to watch the Pups, but everyone already has plans. People make their Holiday plans long in advance. They have their own Families and their own plans. And those plans do not include watching my Puppy Girls…
I’m gonna have my bag packed Just In Case Mom & Dad decide that they can “tolerate” my 2 dogs so that I can go and be with them in Corpus for Christmas. I’ll be ready to go!
This is a very difficult Christmas for me – with everything that has happened this past year – and I would Like to be with my Folks.
I’m understanding my Folks less and less… but I am still hoping…
Tags: Christmas 2009, Pups
Posted in anger, Coping, Dad, depression, Emotions, Family, frustration, loneliness, Mom, Overload, overwhelming, Pets, rejection, sadness, scared, Stress, tired, venting | No Comments »
Friday, December 11th, 2009
I have no Christmas Spirit.
I just don’t care.
My last few years have been such a roller coaster…
* Reconnecting with Mr. Sack in mid 2007
* Planning for a new life in a new city with the man I had held in my heart for over 30 yrs.
* Found the lump Feb 2008
* March 2008, after numerous reassurances that my weight was not an issue, even though I had lost 40lbs, Mr. Sack decided that I was fatter than he remembered, but he would “try and work through it”.
* Thinking I was fighting a “staph infection” for 8+ months with a plethora of antibiotics.
* The accidental loss of my beloved cat, Hardy, in Nov 2008 to a dog I had rescued several months earlier.
* Having to put Cole down because he had killed Hardy and I couldn’t find anyone to take him and I couldn’t keep him any longer.
* Diagnosed with cancer late Feb 2009.
* Dumped by Mr. Sack late April 2009.
* The discovery that several people whom I thought were Friends were not.
* Reconnecting with old Friends and finding strength in them.
* Loosing a job that I enjoyed, with a group of people who provided me with great spiritual and emotional strength and reassurance, which I truly truly appreciated.
Not to mentioned the numerous other “small” yet aggravating things that have continuously beaten me down.
All the time I am fighting this fight.
I just have no spirit left.
None.
Tags: Christmas 2009, Cliff Grimes, Clifford F Grimes, Clifford Grimes, Dallas, Mr. Sack
Posted in anger, Cancer, Coping, depression, despair, Emotions, frustration, heartbroken, loneliness, Overload, overwhelming, rejection, sadness, scared, Stress, tired, venting | No Comments »
Monday, December 7th, 2009
So starts my second week of unemployment…
I miss the camaraderie
I miss the emotional support
I miss the spiritual support
Being laid off sucks
Being laid off for no good reason sucks
Still sucks.
Tags: employment, job, unemployment
Posted in anger, Coping, depression, Emotions, frustration, sadness, Stress, tired, venting | No Comments »
Monday, November 30th, 2009
OMG
Today was Soooo bad.
It Just Sucked.
Seeing everyone who knew
was so hard.
Gong through my office one final time
was so hard.
Being there
was so hard.
I had to talk with my Manager, who had been out of town.
That was the last talk I ever wanted to have.
And I felt so betrayed.
I know it was out of his hands
But I would have thought that I deserved some notice of what was happening.
I would have Thought that.
THEN I find out that the employee who took the position
was not
an internal employee.
No.
She is a New Hire.
I have been with the company for 9 years.
I have worked this project for 20 months.
Yet
Someone who has never worked for the company
Who has not worked the project
Is deemed “a better fit” than I would be.
a better fit…
And all this was done within 2 weeks of my interview.
Within 2 weeks of the job I didn’t get…
So
Today Sucked.
Tags: employment, job, job interview, unemployment
Posted in anger, Coping, Emotions, employment, frustration, Other Things, Overload, sadness, Stress, tired, venting | 1 Comment »
Sunday, November 29th, 2009
I made it back home to Houston
returning from a pleasant vacation in Corpus
To be at work tomorrow
for one day
my last day
After 20 months
in the group
on the projects
Had to come back
to work the one day
One Day
So that I qualified for the yearly “bonus”
which is given
in lieu of vacation time.
I’ll get 1% of my salary
Which, due to time lost because of my situation
will equal approximately
1/2 week of pay.
Better than nothing…
but
This sucks.
Posted in anger, Emotions, employment, frustration, sadness, scared, tired | 1 Comment »
Sunday, November 22nd, 2009
Dang… I have so much to think about now…
I’m so tired, emotionally spent.
Listing…
So much to do
So much to list…
* Have to contact the drug companies and update them…
Need to change my contact and mailing info and see how this unemployment affects my status and / or programs eligibility. Hopefully nothing to worry about.
* Check out unemployment, if I qualify.
Finding another job will be difficult due to my health situation. I often go in late cuz the mornings are difficult for me. Sometimes the headaches keep me up at night, or wake me up throughout the night; sometimes I get very little sleep, or I have to take sleeping aids so that my sleep is not real rest. I miss some work for Doctor appointments and have tests and procedures…
The meds have side effects like memory issues and balance problems and the Hand and Foot Syndrome has the tips of my fingers and toes ultra sensitive and splitting and I’m wearing band-aids and finger cots on my fingers.
I’ve applied for unemployment twice in my life, but never have collected cuz I always got a job before I got my benefits. This will be a new situation for me and not one that I am proud of.
* Need to get back onto Auctiva and start TeamDenise’s eBay account and start selling again.
I lost confidence in my selling in March of 2008. I need to get it back.
* Need to get my fundraiser project back on track.
Yes, I’m tired, yes I’m tired of feeling like a beggar… but it’s not getting done and I want to keep myself alive, so that means money. And there will be even less money than there was before, so I need to get out there and do it.
And
* Waiting for the results of my PET scan…
Scared of what they will showed. Hopeful, but so scared.
I’m so tired… but what can I do with this
Listing?
Tags: employment, fund, Fundraising, fundraising projects, job, unemployment
Posted in anger, Coping, Emotions, frustration, Fundraisers, Nutrition, Overload, sadness, scared, Stress, tired, venting, Warriors | No Comments »
