visualization Category

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009

Test Results – Tumor Markers #6

My PCP’s office faxed my lab results…

Last Friday (Oct 16 2009), I had the bloodwork drawn to track my tumor markers. It was draw #6. I’ve been having Very Good Results to-date, however this time we see some increases that make me a bit uneasy…

This blood draw was for the monthly tests (most specifically my CEA Tumor Markers)…

April 15, my baseline CEA tumor markers were 63.1 ng/mL (nanograms per milliliter). This is High, as Norm is 0.0-3.0 ng/mL.
I honestly don’t know how high “really high” is, but – in my internet searching – I read one gal talk about the mid-200’s, so I guess my high is not That high, but It’s High To me.
June 03, my 2nd draw CEA tumor markers were 35.9 ng/mL
July 03, my 3rd draw CEA tumor markers were 12.8 ng/mL
August 27, my 4th draw CEA tumor markers were 3.9 ng/mL
September 18, my 5th draw CEA tumor markers were 3.3 ng/mL
* October 16, my 6th CEA tumor markers are 3.2 ng/mL
3.2 = a .1 DECREASE from last month – this is acceptable and getting closer to normal!

The CEA numbers are still dropping and I’m pleased with that, though they are dropping in smaller increments… I’ll feel better when I’m within the “normal” range.  I Still I wish I was confident with just how much this meant, but this (CEA: The Test) continues to answer Some of my questions…

Still hoping that this all means Something Good…  Something…

My Other Numbers as of October 16 2009 blood test results:

* CA-12510 U/mL (Reference @ 0-35)
a 3 point INCREASE – up from 7 U/mL from September’s draw, I’m not sure how to feel about this… I’m not happy, but don’t know whether to be worried or not as it is still well within the normal range, in fact is very low normal range.

* CA 15-3: 16 U/mL (Reference @ <32)
a 1 point DECREASE – down from from 17 U/mL from September’s draw; I’m not going to stress 1 point since one point variation is acceptable and I am well within the normal range, in fact in the low end of normal.

* CA 27.29 (see CA15-3 above): 30 U/mL (Reference @ <38)
an 11 point INCREASE – up from 19 U/mL from September’s draw.  To me, this is a Huge increase and concerns me a great deal.  I’m still within normal ranges, though I am in the high end of normal now.

The CA 27.29 test is used to monitor your:

  • Response to treatment
  • Status of your cancer
  • Possibility of early recurrence

I’m not sure how I feel about these CA 27.29 numbers… while I’m Very Glad they are still within the normal range, the increase scares the crap out of me.  What scares me so much is that “if your CA 27.29 levels rise, it may indicate that your cancer is progressing or spreading.”  Is this increase enough to be concerned about?  However, “some non life–threatening conditions may also cause CA 27.29 to show up in your blood (ovarian cysts and benign conditions of the breast, liver and kidneys)”, and I DO have Fibrocystic Breast Disease (a “benign condition of the breast”), so That is something in itself to consider… On The Other Hand, I DO have a malignant condition – cancer…

I guess I’ve been “so used” to the good results, to the numbers dropping so dramatically, that this change has really hit me, has reminded me of what I am dealing with, what I am fighting, what is on the line here… my life.

Cancer is what I am dealing with

My life is what I am fighting for

My Life is what is on the line

My Life.

Stress… yes, Lots of stress.  The stress is beating me down.

Both Dr. Deleon and Dr. Khan have advised me to wait and see what happens next month before I become overly concerned.  Dr. Deleon also mentioned that stress can cause tumor markers to rise slightly, and this whole situation IS FREAKING STRESSFUL.  PLUS, I Have cheated on my diet and had some sugar in the past 2 weeks that I should NOT have had… which could be another factor.

So… chill out.

Easy to say.

I am so scared…

Bottom line – we are Hopeful that the PET / CT scan next month will show what is going on, and hopefully will show as much progress as the previous PET / CT scan!

Breathing…. and

Visualizing my Dragons
Still visualizing their Riders,
Still visualizing my Dragons breathing fire,
Still visualizing their Riders wielding their lasers
Burning the tumor,
Burning each evil cell
Into ash.

Burning Burning Burning Each Evil Cell.

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Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

Mustard Seed Necklace

Finally got the pics of my Mustard Seed Necklace downloaded. I wear it everyday…

Hear that, Janna??


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Saturday, June 27th, 2009

Hairy Legs

Last night I dreamt that I had hairy legs – hairier than I have ever had in my life.

I remember looking down in surprise and thinking – “I’m Cured!!!!!”

What a dream…

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Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

Dragons

Dragons

Honor beast of mythic proportions

Majestic wings

Outstretched

Encircling

Radiating

beast of earth, beast of ice, beast of sea, beast of wind, beast of air

Beast of Fire

The purpose of cleansing

The purpose of cinder

The purpose of Dragons


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Thursday, April 9th, 2009

Seeing Dragons

I have chemo today… and while my Fretmen have departed, last night I realized…

I have Dragons
Watching over me.

Regardless of all else that I have
Endured

Regardless of what has been ripped from me
Heartlessly

I see Dragons.
They have
Riders.

And they are
Protecting me.

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Thursday, March 26th, 2009

Fretmen MIA

My Fretmen have left… I called to them, but they have not answered.

Abandonment…

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Saturday, March 7th, 2009

Fretmen – Visualization

So much has happened in such a short time…
I’ve been told that I need to visualize some type of attack on the cancer cells, to help me with treatment.

When I thought, the first thing that came to my mind was Fretmen.

I fret, I’m a natural Fretter.

So, Fretmen seem right.

Little wild forest men… rusty bushy wild hair, bushy mustache, bare chested, skirt made of leaves, big bare feet and a wooden club.

Big wooden club to hit the cancer cells. To Bash them. Bash them to pieces

Three hits and – Dead cancer cell.

I’m visualizing my Fretmen!

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