Chemo Drugs Category

Friday, April 24th, 2009

Chemo Phase I, #4 – April 23 2009

It gets harder each time.  Harder and Harder

Longer to recover.

My body aches,my muscles, my bones, my head. The dizziness, round and round…
Harder to drag myself out of bed.
Out of bed, where I want to stay.
To sleep
Forever

It would be so easy to give up
After everything that’s happened this past week
But I can’t.
I won’t.
I will not.

The anti-nausea meds keep the vomiting at bay, but not the feeling of nauseousness… not the reaction of my body to attempt to rid itself of this evil fluid.  The natural reaction.

The damage this poisoning is doing will be with me for years…

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Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

Chemo Today

It’s 6:28am.
I should be in bed, still sleeping.

Chemo Today…
What a hard week it’s been, and now, chemo.
Again.

Since I don’t get paid if I don’t work, I scheduled my chemo treatments for Thursdays. Then I get my Neulasta shot on Friday – the Clinic is closed on weekends. So I only loose 2 days of work, 2 days of pay, 2 days of resources to keep me going.

I’m down for at least 2 days, in bed or dragging around like a limp rag, fight nausea and dizziness and headache and crazy heart reactions and general effects from being poisoned.  I hate it.  This Is So Barbaric.

This treatment is infusion #4 of Round 1 (aka Phase 1), supposedly the last infusions of the  Adriamycin and Cytoxan (aka A/C) combo.  If I decide to continue on this chemo path, in 2 more weeks I’ll move on to the “harder” infusion, the Taxol in Round 2.  I’ll need steroids for that Round… Steroids.

Oh, WHAT is being done to my body?  How did it Get To This??

My appointment today is for 10:30am, had my alarm set for 8:00am.  But the Pups woke me up barking about 6:00am… Good Pups, just doing their jobs.  It was the UPS, delivering my pre- and post-treatment meds of Emend, the anti-nausea meds.

I was supposed to get them yesterday, but the Doctor had not authorized refills for the remaining infusions, so we had to call in and get that approved.  WTH?

Yes, partly my fault, since I SHOULD have called in on last Friday, but with all this news, I just forgot..  I called them in on Tuesday, and talked with the ACT Rep, who said she would overnight them as soon as she got the info from the Dr.

So, I get them this morning.  A little after 6:00am.
Loosing precious sleep.

Once the chemo hits, I’ll be back in bed anyway…
Gaining poisoned sleep.

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Saturday, April 11th, 2009

Chemo Phase I, #3 – April 09 2009

I am told that each time will be more difficult to recover from.  And it’s proving to be correct.

I ache with every movement. Skin, muscles, bones crawl with pain.  There is no comfort.

The dizziness catches me off guard, yet I should be prepared for it.  The headache is the stern reminder of what is coming. Throbbing.  Pounding.  Stabbing.

My body wretches with the urgency to expel this poison from my system.

This burning

searing

poisonous

liquid.

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Friday, April 10th, 2009

Happy Birthday

Today is my birthday.  49 years.

Today is the day after my 3rd chemo infusion of Phase I.
Today is the day I get my 3rd Neulasta injection.

They had Better be Gifts of Life.

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Thursday, April 9th, 2009

Control

It takes every bit of control for me to step out of the car when we arrive at the cancer center.

I takes every bit of control for me to hold my composure when the nurse comes to me with the bags of chemo, with the tubes, with the needles.

It takes every bit of control for me to go on…

I just want to run away and never look back.

But it’s in me now
and I know it’s gonna hit me shortly
and I need to be in bed when it does.

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Saturday, March 28th, 2009

Chemo Phase I, #2 – March 26 2009

Thursday was my second treatment of the A/C combo (Adriamycin, aka Red Devil and Cytoxan).

Mom and I bring games to play, while we’re waiting., to try and pass the time, to take my mind off of what is going into my body.

Watching that red liquid flow into my port is terrifying.  The taste in my mouth is noxious.  As advanced as we, as a civilization, are, WHY are we Still utilizing a treatment option that was given to the previous generations?  It Can’t be because it works, because it kills as it “cures”.

I’m tired and there are no answers.

I’m going back to bed…

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Saturday, March 28th, 2009

ER Visit

Last night was Horrible.

I had a bad reaction to the Neulasta – Lots of leg pain, and peaked a fever of 100.  Mom called the Dr, and then overreacted.

At the Dr’s instruction, she brought me to the Emergency Room of Houston Northwest Hospital.

What a combination of a Joke and a Pain to deal with.

We were there from about 2:30am until after 9:00am.

When we got a room, there was equipment with dried blood in it – not so sterile.  Kept hoping they wouldn’t use that equipment on me.

I was poked and prodded, stuck with needles, x-rayed and had a “deep vein” test – they thought I might have a blood clot.

I kept telling them – And Mom – that I was “ok”, it was simply a bad reaction to the Neulasta, but no one would listen to me.

I Am So Mad At Mom for doing this to me.

At the end of the ordeal, they had me talk to the “financial advisor”… another ~financial advisor~.

I was told the cost of the visit would be over $1000, PLUS a bill for the Dr, PLUS separate bills for the tests.

Like I Have That Kinda Money.

I just wanted to Get Out Of There and get home.

Got back home about 9:40am this morning.

I Love Mom Dearly, but DAMN.

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Thursday, March 12th, 2009

Chemo Phase I, #1 – March 11 2009

This is horrible, this chemo.

Had to go and get my Neulasta shot this morning.

the Magic Potion.

The wound from the port-a-cath surgery had a hematoma, and the nurse had to press the area to get the fluid out.

It was Painful.

It hurts.

and

I hurt all over.

I wanna go back to sleep.

I ache, I hurt, I am nauseous, I wanna puke, I don’t wanna puke.

My head hurts, my eyes hurt, my skin hurts, I hurt…

My Bones Hurt.

Drink drink drink – more liquids.

Saltines please

Broth

Where’s the bucket?

Who thinks this is a good idea??

I wanna go back to sleep.

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Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

Neulasta and the Safety Net

Neulasta is the “magic potion” after chemo.

The Neulasta will stimulate the growth of healthy white blood cells that the chemo kills off… the “potion” to help me to recover quicker.

How this drug works:
Colony-Stimulating Factors:
In the body’s bone marrow (the soft, sponge-like material found inside bones) blood cells are produced.  There are three major types of blood cells; white blood cells, which fight infection; red blood cells, which carry oxygen to and remove waste products from organs and tissues; and platelets, which enable the blood to clot.  Cancer treatments such as chemotherapy and radiation therapy can effect these cells which put a person at risk for developing infections, anemia and bleeding problems.  Colony-stimulating factors are substances that stimulate the production of blood cells and promote their ability to function.   They do not directly affect tumors but through their role in stimulating blood cells they can be helpful as support of the persons immune system during cancer treatment.

Pegfilgrastim is a growth factor that stimulates the production, maturation and activation of neutrophils.  Pegfilgrastim also stimulates the release of neutrophils (a type of white blood cell) from the bone marrow.  In patients receiving chemotherapy, pegfilgrastim can accelerate the recovery of neutrophils, reducing the neutropenic phase (the time in which people are susceptible to infections).  Pegfilgrastim is a long-acting version of filgrastim.

Pegfilgrastim is filgrastim with a substance called polyethylene glycol (PEG) attached to it.  The attachment process is called pegylation, and is used to allow active substances (the filgrastim) to stay in the body longer before they are broken down and eliminated.

Neulasta is also Very Expensive.  If you don’t have insurance, you will be struggling, but it is something You NEED If You Are Undergoing Chemo.

Depending on where you buy your dosage from, the cost of Neulasta is between $3000 and $7000.00 per syringe

If you read the following Breast Cancer Forum, you’ll see costs ranging from $1,800.00 to $12,150.00 Per Injection.
Topic: How much did your Neulasta shot cost?

I don’t have insurance.
At the Cancer Center, I heard $2,600.00 and I later heard $1,800.00.
Either way, I can’t afford that kind of money!
Per Injection!!
I can’t afford the Neulasta.
Can’t afford the “Magic Potion”.

Thank God that Mary at the Northwest Cancer Center found me a program -  The Safety Net Foundation, Medication Help for Low Income Americans Below Age 65

And Thank God I Qualified.

Now I’ll be able to get the Magic Potion!

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Wednesday, March 4th, 2009

Chemo Learning Class

I had to attend a “class” to teach me about chemotherapy.

“Chemo Learning”… to teach me about chemotherapy.

To educate me about the poison that will save my life.
While slowly killing parts of me.
Then the “potion” that will help bring me back to life.

I’ll have a port-a-cath surgically implanted – to “safely” deliver the poison to my body. If they delivered it directly into my arm veins, it would (most probably) kill, or severely damage, those veins.  The port-a-cath provides access straight into my large vein for the chemo.  Guess the large veins are stronger…

I’ll get chemo at Northwest Cancer Center, off Fm 1960 and Red Oak in Houston.  I will be on 2 phases of chemo, either 3 or 4 weeks each – I’m not quite sure yet.

I have an appointment with Dr. Casimir on Monday, Mar 16, so I’ll get everything cleared up then…
and will have one round of chemo behind me.  Oh Joy.

I learned that I will be given infusions of:
* Adriamycin and Cytoxan in Phase I
and
* Taxol in Phase II

Each does of chemo will be followed by an injection of Neulasta the next day.
The Neulasta will stimulate the growth of healthy white blood cells that the chemo kills off…  this “potion” will help me to recover quicker.

The Chemo Learning Class went over:
* Generic Name
* Other Name
* Drug Type
* What Drug Is Used For
* How Drug Is Given
* Side Effects Of Drug, Including Delayed Effects
* When To Contact Your Health Care Provider
* Precautions
* Self Care Tips
* Monitoring and Testing
* How Drug Works

Lots of info to remember, but the Dr and Medical Staff do this daily for a living, so I am sure that they will remind me of what I need to remember!

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