Christmas Eve 2009

Another emotional roller coaster of a day.

The cold is settling in…
I feel it
in my body
in my heart
in my soul

I feel it
I will be glad when this season is over
When the festivities and celebrations have passed
When the joy is a blurred memory
When the memories of my hopes and dreams are
no more than dust
no longer shards
piercing my heart

I feel it
the cold front moving in
The wind is whipping up
The trees are blowing from side to side
I can imagine that it might even howl later

A fitting sound for my mood

I covered the plants in the front, but have not the energy to finish the ones in the back. I lost some in the last freeze, I can only guess I will loose more in this one. I no longer have the energy to do everything.

Depression sucks almost as much as cancer.

Merry Christmas Eve.

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One Response to Christmas Eve 2009

  1. Christy says:

    Yep! Depression does suck! I know that! I’ve been there many times before. I can’t imagine having cancer on top of all that. It is amazing to me when ever I get depressed and then start coming out of depression how much brighter the colors in the world get, and it amazes me how when you are depressed the world tilts towards blacks and grays, not only figuratively but also physically. It is amazing how much your state of mind changes how your body reacts to everything. How it changes your vision, your hearing, your ability to move and get out of bed. I know it sucks! I also know no matter what anyone says to help you, it doesn’t really help, that it just takes time for your body’s chemistry to tilt back to normal. So I’m hoping that you “tilt back” quickly, and know that if you need to talk just call me!

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